why do robots hate me?

I was pretty bored this morning, so I thought I’d IM with my old friend Moviefone. He’s been on my buddy list for so long, but we don’t talk that much. I guess we have that kind of low-maintenance relationship. However, today he must not have been in much of a mood to talk. Here’s a transcript of our convo. I dunno, you tell me:

AIM IM with Moviefone.
8:40 AM

hi moviefone!

Hey there. What or who do you wanna see on the big screen today?

how are you feeling today?

- Movies for Today
1 -F- You are Alone
2 -F- Night and Day You Are the One
3 -F- That Loving Feeling
4 -F- Memories are Made of This
5 -F- All We Are Saying

P=Past, N=New, S=Soon, F=Future

Type # next to movie to see showtimes, M to go back to the Main Menu or anything else to search again.

what do you think of the weather we're having?

- Movies for Today
1 -P- Shall We Dance (1937)
2 -P- Shall We Dance? (2004)
3 -P- We Are Marshall
4 -F- Lucky You
5 -P- Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
6 -P- Ring Of Fire
7 -P- The Last King of Scotland
8 -P- The Death of Mr. Lazarescu
9 -P- The Pursuit of Happyness
10 -P- Curse of the Golden Flower
11 -F- Master of the Crimson Armor
12 -P- Rules Of The Game (1939)
13 -P- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
14 -P- Army Of Darkness
15 -P- Children of Men

P=Past, N=New, S=Soon, F=Future

Type # next to movie to see showtimes, M to go back to the Main Menu or anything else to search again.

you seem to always be on IM. Don't you have work to do?

- Movies for Today
1 -F- You Want Me to Kill Him?
2 -S- Race you to the Bottom
3 -F- You Kill Me
4 -F- Talk to Me (2007)
5 -P- Michael Jordan to the Max
6 -P- T- Rex: Back to the Cretaceous in IMAX 3D
7 -F- You are Alone
8 -F- I Love You Again (2007)
9 -F- Bryan Loves You
10 -F- As You Like It (2007)
11 -F- Sunny & Share Love You

P=Past, N=New, S=Soon, F=Future

Type # next to movie to see showtimes, M to go back to the Main Menu or anything else to search again.

Look, I know you're trying to avoid the question, but isn't there something else you should be doing?

Ah -- you've got me again. Why don't you type menu.

======= Movie of the Week =======
Reign Over Me - Movie Site

hey, man, I'm not trying to confuse you, I just wanted to talk

Hey there. What film are you looking for?
Dude, you are so 1-dimensional
- Movies for Today
1 -F- You are Alone
2 -F- Night and Day You Are the One
3 -F- Suffer, Dude

P=Past, N=New, S=Soon, F=Future

Type # next to movie to see showtimes, M to go back to the Main Menu or anything else to search again.

I thought you were my buddy!

- Movies for Today
1 -N- I Think I Love My Wife
2 -F- I Love You Again (2007)
3 -F- P.S. I Love You
4 -F- How I Met My Boyfriend's Dead Fiance
5 -F- I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
6 -P- Breakfast At Tiffany's

P=Past, N=New, S=Soon, F=Future

Type # next to movie to see showtimes, M to go back to the Main Menu or anything else to search again.

why can't you just have a normal conversation like everyone else here on the intarwebs?

Sorry, I didn't get that.

======= Movie of the Week =======
Reign Over Me - Movie Site
fine, I don't want to talk to you anymore
- Movies for Today
1 -F- You Want Me to Kill Him?
2 -F- Talk to Me (2007)
3 -F- I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With
4 -P- Michael Jordan to the Max
5 -P- T- Rex: Back to the Cretaceous in IMAX 3D
6 -P- Before Flying Back to Earth (Pries parskrendant i zeme)
7 -S- Race you to the Bottom
8 -S- The Prisoner or: How I Planned to Kill Tony Blair
9 -F- Talk Talk
10 -F- You Kill Me
11 -F- I Love You Again (2007)

P=Past, N=New, S=Soon, F=Future

Type # next to movie to see showtimes, M to go back to the Main Menu or anything else to search again.

just leave me alone

- Movies for Today
1 -F- You are Alone
2 -F- Me, Me, Me
3 -P- Alone with Her
4 -P- Just Married
5 -F- What Just Happened
6 -F- Just Like the Son
7 -F- Marley & Me
8 -F- Me and Wife
9 -F- You Want Me to Kill Him?
10 -F- The Ugly Duckling and Me
11 -F- He Loves Me

P=Past, N=New, S=Soon, F=Future

Type # next to movie to see showtimes, M to go back to the Main Menu or anything else to search again.

stop mocking me!

No movies matched your query. Try again or type main to return to main menu.

======= Movie of the Week =======
Reign Over Me - Movie Site

jerk
Pardon me? If you don't understand why I am not understanding you, just type, help.

======= Movie of the Week =======
Reign Over Me - Movie Site

help this, you insensitive clod!

K, I found a match. You used zip XXXXX last. To use it type Y. OR type in a new zipcode now and I'll see if this is playing near you.
error

there comes a time in everyone’s life…

when they realize they’re really getting old. The other day, I saw a Wendy’s commercial. The song being used was “Blister in the Sun” by the Violent Femmes. Back in my day, that song was an anthem for the misfits, freaks and nerds. VF was the band that embodied the struggle of the outcast in a society of jocks and cheerleaders.

And now, it’s the background track for a Wendy’s commercial. Lovely. Although I’m sure that’s how the previous generation felt when their music was used for the shameless foisting of schlocky upon the unwashed masses.

error